Reverend Maureen Cotton is an Interspiritual minister, serving the spiritual-but-not-religious. She's on a mission to revive the understanding that a wedding is transformative rite of passage. Ready to get grounded in a meaningful wedding journey? Start with the with the popular Vow Writing Retreat.
Why you have to/get to take the lead
My friend,
Close your eyes for a moment and picture a group of people close to you. Some segment of your community anywhere from 10 to 50 people. Go ahead, I’ll wait…
Got/had a vision?
Question: Do you think all those people define and value marriage the same way?
Almost certainly not.
In a postmodern, multifaith, multicultural, individualist society, we do not have a shared definition of marriage.
(Aside from the legal commitment—but guess what? Most engaged couples don’t even understand the specific legal obligations of marriage, and the vary country to country and state to state. Many are surprised to learn how shared property laws work or that you need written permission from your spouse for certain medical procedures).
Yet, weddings are typically shared, community, semi-public events. What does it mean that we gather everyone together to participate in something without an agreed-upon meaning?
It means that you, the engaged couple, have the chance and responsibility to define the commitment of marriage for yourselves and thereby define the meaning of your wedding day.
If you skip this step, what will happen? Frankly, a “meh” wedding. Or a disjointed-feeling day without all the elements working in alignment. Or (at best) the thoughtfully-planned party will be enjoyable but the day will kick off with an obligatory ceremony that leaves everyone eager for the bar to open.
If you get this right? (and by “right” I mean right for you—a ceremony as an expression of your values and an invitation for your community to be a part of your love):
- Your ceremony will be a captivating experience for your guests, leaving them spiritually full, floating a little and believing in love—just like the most powerful concert they’ve ever experienced.
- Your loved ones will permanently feel closer to you (that’s right, it will last well beyond the wedding day).
- The depth started in the ceremony will last all day, ensuring endless deep connection and storytelling ongoing between everyone throughout the night.
- Your wedding will be spoken about with awe for decades.
- You and your partner will experience a deeper level of connection than ever before (yes, it can get even deeper and more rewarding).
- You’ll begin your marriage with a strong foundation.
Achieving all this is as simple as getting in sync with your partner about the truest reasons that you’re getting married and having a wedding. Then, using the understanding to act on what's important to you in the wedding day.
Oh, my friend, but how we know the simple is not necessarily easy!
If you’d like to get in sync like this but it’s impossible to imagine when or how you’ll sit side-by-side with your partner in undisturbed deep connection and be able to articulate what your values are, how you live them/how you want to live them together, how you want to honor those who shaped these values, and how you want to express them on your wedding day, I’ve got you.
This is the exact guidance I offer through The Soulful Wedding and every single offering, including…
- Non religious premarital counseling
- Ceremony creation services
- (Coming back soon) The Create Your Ceremony course + workbook
- and a spoonful of it in the Vow Writing Retreat
Not sure the best option for you? Book a call and tell me your dreams and concerns for your wedding.
Taking the lead on meaning-making for your wedding will be one of the most rewarding things you ever do as a couple, and I’m here for it.
Maureen
Rev. Maureen Cotton
Reverend Maureen Cotton is an Interspiritual minister, serving the spiritual-but-not-religious. She's on a mission to revive the understanding that a wedding is transformative rite of passage. Ready to get grounded in a meaningful wedding journey? Start with the with the popular Vow Writing Retreat.
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