My Friend,

This week my interview on the popular The Big Wedding Planning Podcast was released. It was recorded months ago, so I was quite eager to hear what I talked about!

It’s a joyfully informal podcast where Michelle (the host and wedding planner) and I built on each other’s ideas, even interrupting each other now and then. One such moment is when we were talking about incorporating religion into wedding ceremonies.

I shared about guiding a Catholic couple to identify the most meaningful values and rituals from their upbringing that they felt like they could wholeheartedly and authentically participate in. We modified the tradition of the Prayers of Petition, which are a litany of prayers spoken at the end of the mass. In our process they had reflected on their great privilege in society and appreciated that their Catholic upbringing taught them about caring for others in heart and deed.

We composed prayers that honored the moment, then sent the power and love of the gathering out into the world, praying for all sorts of ailments and wrongs throughout humanity. It was incredibly moving for everyone present, no matter what their belief system was, and a genuine expression of the couple and how they see themselves in the world.

Michelle reflected about how that was beautiful; she thinks people should take such an authentic route, even if it disappoints grandparents. “The grandparents will be happy,” I said. “Well, yeah, maybe,” she said, “but not as much as if it was in a church.”

“No, I’m telling you,” I protested. I often work with couples who have parents or grandparents in the wings who are deeply disappointed the couple isn’t having a religious wedding. Without fail, every time a couple tells me about someone who is vocally disappointed, that person rushes up to me after the ceremony to tell me it was the most moving ceremony they’d ever seen.

Because those who are devoted to a religion know that feeling—the moment of being close to Source, Universal Love, God, however you call it—they know it intimately through their traditions and can recognize it in other contexts as well. They know when a tradition is being adapted and honored.

For a pious grandma, seeing their grandchild thoughtfully drawing on and expressing the values in their tradition is MORE moving than just going through the motions out of obligation.

At the ceremony with the modified Prayers of Petition was one of the bride’s aunts who had been a nun for most of her life. She approached me and said, “This ceremony reminded me that there’s more than one way to be spiritual.”

Indeed.

Be well my spiritual friends,

Maureen

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P.S. It’s the very, very last chance to join us for Create Your Ceremony! This is for you if your friend will officiate your wedding but you don’t have an outline yet. Get that done in the most fun and authentic way possible.

A circle of intentional couples seeking a meaningful ceremony are getting to work on their reflective questionnaires (I send those out as soon as you sign up). We have room for one more couple—join us!​